“My sister is always struggling with money and drugs”: I own a house with my husband and mother. Should my sister be cut off from the family legacy?

I love your articles and read them often. I never thought I would reach out to ask for your advice, but here I am. My husband, mother and I recently purchased a home in Washington state as co-tenants.

My mother is healthy, but I don’t know what will happen in the future. My sister has always struggled with money and drugs and has taken advantage of her entire family many times and used her children as “power cards” to get what she wants.

My mother doesn’t want to invite my sister to my house. Should she make her will that clearly states that her ownership of one-third is not desired by her, or that her third is automatically to me and her husband?

No one can doubt that my sister will get her share. She says she’s not interested in working many times and thinks it’s crazy that other people pay her way, her idea that she’s legally bound to her is horrible.

Should I disinherit my sister? If so, what’s the best way to go about it?

son and brother

dear son and brother

You sign a cohabitation agreement and give your mother a place to live and vice versa. Assuming your mother died before you, it makes sense to want to make sure that when she dies, you want her share returned to you.

The question of what happens to each party’s share of real estate should have been hammered out when you bought the home and shouldn’t have been left to chance, but it’s time to make sure your home remains in the right hands. is still there.

There are several types of joint ownership. If everyone owns the house as a “live co-tenant” (especially the most common tenancy agreement between husband and wife), each owns a co-ownership and inherits the property when the co-owner dies. To do.

On the other hand, “shared tenancy” exists when each party owns certain shares and does not automatically inherit the spouse’s shares. In New York, a joint tenant has the right to transfer the share without the consent of the other owner.

“Each owner is responsible for paying property taxes, liens, and repairs, but usually one owner pays for the maintenance of the property, pro rata to each owner’s undivided share. and have the right to receive contributions from other owners.” Law firm N Bowers PC

“If you have children, you should make a will. If you have no children or property, you should make a will.

But regardless of your own family situation, your mother should make a will. If you have children, you will need to make a will. If you have no children or property, you will need to make a will.

If you die without a will, your estate will go through the probate process. The probate court handles the accounting for all assets in real estate, such as homes, life insurance, bank accounts, and furniture. These assets are distributed to beneficiaries.

Probate is like hanging dirty laundry for everyone to inspect. Depending on how much money your mother has, perhaps if she meets certain conditions of her sobriety, she may set up a trust for her grandchildren or her daughter. You can also provide income to

Martin J. Hagan, a Pittsburgh-based attorney who specializes in estate planning and trusts, offers detailed guidance for those looking to set up trusts for family members with substance use problems. He believes it’s best to tackle such issues head-on.

“First and foremost, we will only allow distribution if the beneficiary is actively pursuing treatment and recovery.” he writes of such trust. “Second, we limit the distribution to pay only the costs incurred to implement the treatment plan developed for the beneficiary.”

Please take the time to ensure the safety of your home. However, your sister’s children may also need educational help if their mother has been through years of addiction. There is a bigger picture that includes members of your family.

The Substance Abuse and Mental Health Services Administration, a branch of the U.S. Department of Health and Human Services, aims to help families deal with addiction problems. Offers advice on how to start a conversation with a loved one. Identify a suitable time and place. 2. Express your concerns and speak up. 3. Acknowledge and listen to their feelings. 4. Offer to help. 5. Be patient.

If you or a family member need help with a mental or substance use disorder, call us. SAMHSA National Helpline 1-800-662-HELP (4357) or TTY: 1-800-487-4889 or postal code 435748 (HELP4U), or SAMHSA Behavioral Health Treatment Services Locator to get help. You can also find more resources and advice for families from SAMHSA. here.

Other resources for people with family members who have addiction issues include: The Center for Motivation and Change published this book.Beyond Addiction: How Science and Kindness Help People ChangeDr. Robert Meyers, who has worked in the addiction field for 40 years, said: CRAFTapproach Encourage family members to participate in therapy.

Source: SAMHSA

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